Back to the future - UAE edition. 01

I wish I had somehow paved the way for the fact that I am currently writing this blog post from a Starbucks in Al Ain, United Arab Emirates. (for those of you who are not familiar with the United Arab Emirates, a hint: Dubai is not a country on its own, it belongs to a country).

There are many reasons why I am back in my home country. Sure, I was born in Egypt, and that is where my previous and massive green passport comes from. But I have lived my entire life in the UAE, and it will always be my home country.

Now.

I am here, because I missed it. I missed my sorry pathetic high school. I missed the indoors strolling track that some dub Al Ain Mall. I miss the people and the annoying conservatism and the cheap taxis that can only be used by people who speak the hybrid language of Arabic and Pakistani (maybe I should call is Arabistani).

I am here because I consider the past 2 years to be an experiment. I know how I have changed, and I have changed a lot since high school. But I also want to know how they have changed. I want to know if they have changed.

I am here to collect data on the different groups that have participated in the pre-post study (Pre university admission, post university admission).

I am confident that the results, while disappointing, will not be unexpected. However, being that the data I am trying to collect is qualitative not quantitative, I am trying my best not to let my expectations ruin my judgement and interpretation of what I find.

Al Ain has not changed. I cannot believe this. Everything is exactly the same. The buildings are the same. The streets are the same. Our apartment complex is a carbon copy of how it was 2 years ago when I left it. The people are the same. Those who wander aimlessly in the mall are still the same. The school is... mostly the same.

What happened? Did I only leave 2 weeks instead of 2 years ago? I was expecting a completely different town than the one I left, and instead, things are so similar to how they were 2 years ago that all my routines and classically conditioned behaviors are still valid and usable.

I have been cheated out of my new city.

One thing is different. There is a teacher in my old high school who, not only has a labret piercing, but also a tongue piercing.

Are you reading this? Are you comprehending the nonsensical magnitude of this development? Our principal, who metaphorically gobbles up any homo sapien with a penis caught in the girls’ building has hired a foreign English teacher with a labret and tongue piercings.

My school did the dirty on me and went progressive behind my back. What the fuck. This is not fair. Why couldn’t I have been here for this?

No. I lie. Another thing has changed. Bad things have happened. I’ve been away, and some really good hearts have been broken.

I wish there was a way for me to convince people in high school of this. But being told that you should hang on now, because things will be better soon does not help. I’ve forgotten how high school can so easily chew you up and spit you out, a permanently broken commodity in a world that has no place for damaged goods.

And finally. Prices are up. Waayy up.

I am only on the the 4th of my 30 day trip to Al Ain, and already I have seen and done a lot of things.

Ironically, my primary and most pressing reason for coming here remains unmet, defying my strongest expectations. And that definitely changes a lot.

This is S.S., reporting to you from Al Ain city, in the United Arab Emirates. (video of sand and camels plays while the camera person wraps up).

Holy shit, people are really still the same.